FROM THE CHAPTER "Convertible Heads for Pennsylvania"
pg. 216

     "I pulled down the street that the bed & breakfast was on, and noticed it on the corner right away.  It was a massive three-story brick building, the most beautiful I had ever seen.  I just knew that the inside was going to be just as impressive.  Then I saw Bruce; he had parked his car on the road and was leaning against his car with sunglasses on.  His smile was huge.  I was like a teenager; giggly and silly.  As I parked the car, Bruce walked over, smiling easily as he said, "So Grace, do you want to keep driving?"  I said, "No, I'm happy with who I'm seeing!"  He said, "I am too," and he kissed me softly on my mouth.  Wow!  The hardest part was over.  The first moments of our meeting determined if all of the words and phone calls were worth it.  We knew the love and friendship we had made would take us further in our relationship."

     Although it has been over thirteen years since the above took place, I remember it as if it was yesterday.  Great memories for the golden years. 

 

 
 
Well, I told the readers of this blog that I would share bits and pieces from Caught in the Net.  Here is a "bit."  I had went to see Peter in Wisconsin.  I was on cloud nine when I arrived home after our short visit . . .  that was until the email came.   The day after my visit, we had instant messaged and I had shared more about my life.  I was just being sincere and honest.  As they say nowadays, "it is what it is."     Let me share the following paragraph:

     "He wrote me email the next day that basically said that he didn't think it would work out.  I had too much baggage! (I had grown to hate that word.  People our age have baggage!) But I guess, to him any ways, the story of my life wasn't packed neatly in an overnight bag; my life was shoved in Stanley Steamer trunks.  He also felt that after my visit to Wisconsin, I should have been able to have only him in the picture.  He further wrote that I should have willingly given up my "men".  This made me feel incredibly uncomfortable.  How could I give up friends like DCPENN?  It was like he was trying to control me."
 
 
I forgot to mention in my last post that the internet fantasy ended for Chris.  Arizona was just the beginning for her new life in the West.  After a few years with DESERTGUY, she ended up in Idaho to be closer to her mom, then she went further West  to Oregon, she met a doctor and they are living happily ever after!  Good for Chris.  I know of her struggles in life...not unlike some of mine but hers were far greater! (I talk about  her struggles in Caught in the Net).  I am so happy for her.
 
 
     One of the "characters" in my book e-mailed me this evening.    We still keep in touch.  Actually, in the book, I refer to her as "Chris".  Well, "Chris" informed me that DESERTGUY has multiple sclerosis and is just barely getting around.  He is actually relying on a wheelchair and a walker.   It has been 13 years since I had first signed online and got connected to AOL.  It is 13 years since I first started chatting to DESERTGUY.  He seemed like he had it all together!  Purdue graduate, four children, lived in the West, had his own software business, etc., etc.  Funny how life turns around . . .  well not so much funny as it is sad.  In my book, DESERTGUY preferred Chris.  She actually moved out to the deserts of Arizona to be with DESERTGUY. 

Read this excerpt from my book, Caught in the Net, a story of Internet addiction and romance by Sunshine44:

                                          Roses from Arizona
   
      We exchanged instant messages. The time flew. He had a sense of humor that I just loved. I downloaded his picture that he had scanned and had sent over the screen. He was cute with beautiful blue eyes and a wonderful smile. He was bald but it fit him. The chemistry was definitely there for me. We would smile and laugh at all of the witty comments we both would write. He kept asking for a picture. Besides not having a scanner for fast delivery, I also told him that I had none to offer at this time. I did tell him that I would forward one eventually. In the last month, I had lost about ten pounds but this was hardly a dent into what I had to lose. I felt so insecure about the weight, so I kept assuring him that he would receive a picture of me soon.


 
 
Yes, please meet Jack, because if YOU met him, YOU would be the only one who had REALLY met him.   You see, I never actually MET Jack.  I wrote words on a keyboard back and forth.  I talked to him on the telephone when there was no unlimited long distance ($35.00 a call!).  But, I never REALLY met Jack face to face, I never smelled his skin, I never looked into his eyes (whatever color they were) or ran my fingers through his  hair. So it goes with a long distance love affair that really never was.  Fantasy.  Pure fantasy.  It wasn't really real.  I mean, how could it be?  Reality is walking hand in hand on the beach--not just talking about how wonderful it WOULD be to do so.

I would wait up until one o'clock in the morning to speak with Jack.  He worked the second shift.at  a correctional facility in Wichita, Kansas.  I was in Eastern Standard Time, he was in Central Time.  It was worth the wait for someone to tell you that they loved you sight unseen--in a week's time!  Then, the next week, he would decide that he couldn't possibly love me after he learned that I had been divorced twice.  In one phone call, he said, "I couldn't possibly be husband number three."  (Grimace)  Online love--PURE FANTASY.

Read this excerpt from my book, Caught in the Net, a story of Internet addiction and romance by Sunshine44:

                                          Hooked  (Chapter Two)

       I would sign on late at night and wait for Jack. After a few weeks, he asked the dreaded question: “When are you going to send your picture?” He wanted to see me. I couldn’t let him see me the way I was! When he asked about my weight before, I just told him it wasn’t polite to ask a lady how much she weighed and laughed it off.

   The pressure was on. He told me he had just sent out his picture and he would be looking for mine in the mail as well. I took out the photo albums and looked for the perfect picture, which of course couldn’t be found. Even the most flattering picture was a few years old. I kept telling myself that it was still “me,” even if it wasn’t a recent likeness. Who was I kidding? Finally, I selected one and sent it in a pretty little pewter frame decorated with flowers, hoping that he would focus more on the flowers instead of the picture of SUNSHINE44.




 
 
Today I received my first email from someone who used to frequent the Hopelessly Romantic chat room hosted by AOL.  The year was 1995-96.  I remembered his (Bernie's) screen name.  That was a true testimony of my addiction . . .  remembering screen names of people over twelve years ago!!
My hope is that I will hear from someone I referred to as WILDmanJOHN  (not his REAL screen name).  You see, he was a gentleman from New Hampshire.  He lived near the coast.  He used to call me at home, write email, chat on line, etc.  We were supposed to meet in Ocean City, New Jersey in the summer of 1996.  I was a no show!  I felt SO bad.  The story was that I was going to meet another guy from Pennsylvania too!  I was never one for dating various people at one time.  Once I met the man from Pennsylvania (and I liked him!), I couldn't go that next week and meet another fellow!  I always wondered what he was like in REAL person.  He seemed humorous, and nice.  He wanted to come and visit me in Florida SO bad...and I kept saying no.  He even offered to come off the plane carrying a dozen lobsters instead of a dozen roses...(my friends said I should have taken him up on it!)...  I wonder if he ever married?  He worked in a seafood store and he was a courier in the evening.  His real name escapes me...(after all, I am almost 60...I have a good excuse)...but it will come to me someday, especially when I start digging for old letters and pictures!  Well keep your eyes out for the New Englander who got away!  (or I let get away!)
 
 

Well, today I got out of my car and headed to the porch.  I saw a box near the mailbox.  I got a little excited!  I began to wonder WHO had been so kind as to send me a gift, and then WHAT was in the package!!!   As I reached the top of the landing, my bubble burst all over the front porch!  The box was an exact replica of the one I had sent Priority Mail to Ophray (couldn't wait for Ophray to read my story . . .  I figured she would take it with her while she was on a flight to somewhere).  Yes, it was an exact replica allright . . .it was MY box.  HARPO does not accept unsolicited mail.  Well, first of all, I realize that Ophray didn't send it back . . . it was her staff.  Second of all,  It was not "mail" in my eyes, it was my LIFE!!!!  It had cost me approximately $5,95 to send my LIFE to Ophray only to find that the Queen of bolstering America's self  esteeem had returned it back to sender--ME.  I have decided not to open up the box.  It will remain that way forever.  Not even when Caught in the Net becomes successful.  As a matter of fact, when I am asked to be a guest on the Ophray Show, I will bring the box with me as a testimony to Never Giving Up!   Delusional?  No, I just know I have a good story . . . one that could  easily be made into a Lifetime Movie and oh . . . good enough to sit next to Ophray and tell her all about the year I got Caught in the Net!

 
 

Since I have published my book, I have spent time wondering whatever became of the people I had either met on line just by writing to them or who I had actually met face to face?  I would like to hear from people who had spent time in the Hopelessly Romantic chat room.  Anyone out there?

 
 

Well it has been since March that I first posted my Blog for internet addiction and to date, no one has commented.  I guess that means that there are no internet addicts out there.  Come on!  I know you are out there--en force!  The internet is fascinating and captivating . . . otherwise you wouldn't see people using computers at work . . .spending hours "just looking for a good buy on Ebay or Craigs List."  By, the way, just in case you are wondering why there aren't more posts from me . . . the head hancho blogger person . . . I didn't know I was supposed to write often.  I just thought I started it and YOU finished it . . .  but now I know more how this is done . . . so you will hear a lot more about me and my thoughts.

 
First Post! 03/26/2009
 

Hi, Welcome to Caught in the Net!  Are you addicted to the computer? checking email? Facebook? My Space? games?  Anything that takes you away from "real" life, could be considered an addiction.  When your family starts calling you on it, ex., "You are ALWAYS on the computer."  They are probably right.  You are not going to want to hear that because then you might have to give up the addiction.  I spent over a year addicted to AOL.  Back in 1996-97, the financial cost was $2.95 an hour!  The cost to my family, as MasterCard says, "priceless."    Maybe, this blog could be a safe place to share your addiction to the screen of a computer?   Sincerely, Grace

 
Caught in the Net, a story of internet addiction and romance written by a Registered Nurse, Miriam Carney. Google Analytics