More about the Internet Fantasy 08/26/2009
I forgot to mention in my last post that the internet fantasy ended for Chris. Arizona was just the beginning for her new life in the West. After a few years with DESERTGUY, she ended up in Idaho to be closer to her mom, then she went further West to Oregon, she met a doctor and they are living happily ever after! Good for Chris. I know of her struggles in life...not unlike some of mine but hers were far greater! (I talk about her struggles in Caught in the Net). I am so happy for her. This Wasn't Part of the Fantasy 08/15/2009
One of the "characters" in my book e-mailed me this evening. We still keep in touch. Actually, in the book, I refer to her as "Chris". Well, "Chris" informed me that DESERTGUY has multiple sclerosis and is just barely getting around. He is actually relying on a wheelchair and a walker. It has been 13 years since I had first signed online and got connected to AOL. It is 13 years since I first started chatting to DESERTGUY. He seemed like he had it all together! Purdue graduate, four children, lived in the West, had his own software business, etc., etc. Funny how life turns around . . . well not so much funny as it is sad. In my book, DESERTGUY preferred Chris. She actually moved out to the deserts of Arizona to be with DESERTGUY. Read this excerpt from my book, Caught in the Net, a story of Internet addiction and romance by Sunshine44: Roses from Arizona We exchanged instant messages. The time flew. He had a sense of humor that I just loved. I downloaded his picture that he had scanned and had sent over the screen. He was cute with beautiful blue eyes and a wonderful smile. He was bald but it fit him. The chemistry was definitely there for me. We would smile and laugh at all of the witty comments we both would write. He kept asking for a picture. Besides not having a scanner for fast delivery, I also told him that I had none to offer at this time. I did tell him that I would forward one eventually. In the last month, I had lost about ten pounds but this was hardly a dent into what I had to lose. I felt so insecure about the weight, so I kept assuring him that he would receive a picture of me soon. Meet Jack, my first online love 08/14/2009
Yes, please meet Jack, because if YOU met him, YOU would be the only one who had REALLY met him. You see, I never actually MET Jack. I wrote words on a keyboard back and forth. I talked to him on the telephone when there was no unlimited long distance ($35.00 a call!). But, I never REALLY met Jack face to face, I never smelled his skin, I never looked into his eyes (whatever color they were) or ran my fingers through his hair. So it goes with a long distance love affair that really never was. Fantasy. Pure fantasy. It wasn't really real. I mean, how could it be? Reality is walking hand in hand on the beach--not just talking about how wonderful it WOULD be to do so. I would wait up until one o'clock in the morning to speak with Jack. He worked the second shift.at a correctional facility in Wichita, Kansas. I was in Eastern Standard Time, he was in Central Time. It was worth the wait for someone to tell you that they loved you sight unseen--in a week's time! Then, the next week, he would decide that he couldn't possibly love me after he learned that I had been divorced twice. In one phone call, he said, "I couldn't possibly be husband number three." (Grimace) Online love--PURE FANTASY. Read this excerpt from my book, Caught in the Net, a story of Internet addiction and romance by Sunshine44: Hooked (Chapter Two) I would sign on late at night and wait for Jack. After a few weeks, he asked the dreaded question: “When are you going to send your picture?” He wanted to see me. I couldn’t let him see me the way I was! When he asked about my weight before, I just told him it wasn’t polite to ask a lady how much she weighed and laughed it off. The pressure was on. He told me he had just sent out his picture and he would be looking for mine in the mail as well. I took out the photo albums and looked for the perfect picture, which of course couldn’t be found. Even the most flattering picture was a few years old. I kept telling myself that it was still “me,” even if it wasn’t a recent likeness. Who was I kidding? Finally, I selected one and sent it in a pretty little pewter frame decorated with flowers, hoping that he would focus more on the flowers instead of the picture of SUNSHINE44. People from the Past 08/11/2009
Today I received my first email from someone who used to frequent the Hopelessly Romantic chat room hosted by AOL. The year was 1995-96. I remembered his (Bernie's) screen name. That was a true testimony of my addiction . . . remembering screen names of people over twelve years ago!! My hope is that I will hear from someone I referred to as WILDmanJOHN (not his REAL screen name). You see, he was a gentleman from New Hampshire. He lived near the coast. He used to call me at home, write email, chat on line, etc. We were supposed to meet in Ocean City, New Jersey in the summer of 1996. I was a no show! I felt SO bad. The story was that I was going to meet another guy from Pennsylvania too! I was never one for dating various people at one time. Once I met the man from Pennsylvania (and I liked him!), I couldn't go that next week and meet another fellow! I always wondered what he was like in REAL person. He seemed humorous, and nice. He wanted to come and visit me in Florida SO bad...and I kept saying no. He even offered to come off the plane carrying a dozen lobsters instead of a dozen roses...(my friends said I should have taken him up on it!)... I wonder if he ever married? He worked in a seafood store and he was a courier in the evening. His real name escapes me...(after all, I am almost 60...I have a good excuse)...but it will come to me someday, especially when I start digging for old letters and pictures! Well keep your eyes out for the New Englander who got away! (or I let get away!) |
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